I sat in a meeting the other night with 10 other wedding professionals. It was supposed to be a board meeting for our local wedding organization but it quickly digressed to an all out trash fest of one of the brides for next month.

You see, half of the people in the room had already fired this bride. The only one that still had not was the planner. The floral designer, transportation company, the invitation designer and one other had already had to make the decision to walk away from the outrageous behavior and demands of this client. It is not an easy decision to make; I know, I had to do it myself this week.

When do you know it’s time to fire a client? For me, it is when I come to the realization that no matter what I do it will never be right with this client. Often it has to do with communication and for me, it usually has a component of extreme micro-management. For others it is a clash of personalities or a death by paper cuts scenario, what ever has caused it- it is in your best interest to remove yourself as soon as possible. The longer you keep trying the worse it is going to get.

As professionals that are passionate about what we do it is hard to give up on a client. Of course there is the money aspect. Hey, who likes to give up income?  Take a look back at some of the weddings you have done where your instincts were telling you that something was wrong. I bet that most of the time they ended up costing you money in the end. You bent over backwards to please the unappeasable. You replaced, added, amended and redid over and above what was originally agreed upon. In the end, they still were only marginally satisfied.

I have had to do this twice now. The first time was a on a very simple wedding cake. Well I guess it was simple, it was supposed to be buttercream with borders, nothing like most of the designer cakes I usually did. After three design consultations and nearly 5 hours of time spent with this bride I still had no idea what she wanted. At one point it came to me piping the same border for her to look at in 4 different tip sizes at which point she said “Let’s schedule another appointment so I can see some more ideas.” I’m still not sure why she came to me in the first place. Mind you it rarely took more than an hour to an hour and a half to design even the most elaborate cake.

I had worked with brides that I had done as many a 4 redesigns on, no problem. I have had brides request trial tiers if it was an especially elaborate design or we were doing some very specific color matching, again no problem. There was just something about this girl that my inner voice kept screaming at me about. In the end I listened to that voice and made the hard choice to fire her. At first it makes you feel like a failure. How could you not have made this work? Then at some point you realize that you just weren’t a fit no matter how hard you tried.

I called her consultant and talked it over. She completely understood; after all she was working with her too. I wrote her a very professional letter explaining that I felt she would be happier with another cake designer and returned her (non-refundable) deposit. I never regretted it, especially after hearing from the planner after the wedding. Nothing had been right, all the way down to the temperature of the A/C in the limo. That time my instincts were right.

So how do you keep this from happening in the first place? First off never be afraid to NOT take a client. Tell clients at every step of the interview process that if you feel they would be a better fit with a different professional you will happily recommend one. That way you don’t have to take them in the first place.

In the long run a bad client can do you more harm than any amount you stand to make off the wedding. They will kill your self esteem, try to ruin your reputation and generally make you question why you are even doing what you are doing. If your inner voice is screaming, maybe you should not be afraid to listen.