A forum I follow called IndieBride has got to be the most honest forums out there. If you ask them a question they are not going to dance around the edges; they will flat out, in your face give you their opinion. How refreshing not to have to read between the tulle. When asked what they wanted in their wedding vendors two things stood out: respect and communication.

They want you to respect their choices. Most brides are floundering along planning a project much larger than their experience. They are trying to make it personal despite all the comments from their own peanut galley. And they are unsure of both their choices and their options. Why else do you think these forums are so popular? When a bride comes to you with an idea, don’t just immediately shoot it down; find out what is behind it. Respect their reasons. For the most part, these young ladies are scared. And need you to respect that.

If they come to you with an idea that your years of experience tell you is a bad choice, find out what is behind their decision. Take for instance the new trend of using an iPod instead of a DJ. They may be trying to save money or they may be afraid of the DJ not listening to their requests and playing the Chicken Dance anyway. Respect their reasons and find them an alternative that takes their concerns into account.

They want to be treated with respect at bridal salons. They don’t want to be told they are fat or short or oddly shaped. They don’t want you to point out that they will look pregnant in the empire waist gown in the picture they brought in. Let them try it on. They are big girls; let them decide that for themselves. They want you to listen to them. If they say no pouffy dress, don’t bring them pouffy dresses. Yes, they have come to you for your expertise but they are also afraid to turn their choice over to you. Guide them, lead them, and validate them.

They also want you to communicate with them. If there is a problem, tell them. Nothing makes our brides angrier then trying to sweep something under the rug. If the Chilean sea bass got stuck in customs, call them and recommend a substitute; don’t just serve salmon. Likewise with a floral snafu, don’t try and play it off be honest. If the cake they have designed is not going to survive outdoors in August, listen to what they want but explain the reasons why it might be a bad choice. Don’t just tell them no, tell them why.

It is all about customer service. You don’t have to bend over backwards, you just have to listen and respect their reasons. Retail is hard. Working in the service sector is hard. Putting on that smile every morning and sharing it with every customer that crosses your path is hard. But, it is what we do.

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